Articles
Kernal in the Back Row

20

Jun
11:45

News

Kernal in the Back Row

 
I was lucky enough to go and see the Batman Begins premiere at the IMAX last week. Unlike regular cinema screens, this one is more than 20 metres high and 26 metres wide, and normally shows specifically made 3D features shot on huge rolls of film. The thought of this much more immersed viewing environment was an exciting curiosity, and I couldn’t wait to see how it would effect my enjoyment of the film.

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Intercepted E-mail

12

Jun
16:41

News

Intercepted E-mail

 

The following was accidentally sent to Weebl’s Stuff resident and Celebrity Outsider Joel Jessup. In an attempt to prevent any legal action towards Joel from publishing this article, I have decided to post his findings. Just you try and sue us now! More to come from Joel, I'm sure.

Date: Fri, 3 Jun 2005 16:32:21 +0100 (BST)

From: ‘Walter Santesso’ Note: address removed for legal reasons.

Subject: Bootleg beauties

To: The Tabloids, Heat, OK, and all other fine celebrity photo and gossip purveyors. Note: addresses removed for legal reasons.

It’s recently come to my attention that someone is flooding the celebrity market with hundreds of cunningly fashioned counterfeits. Although to the naked eye these may appear to be celebrities, they are often cheap imitations in that they’re not actually famous for doing anything at all. Joe Pasquale, a cheap immitation.

I suspect that this is the work of genuine celebrities using production companies to make Reality TV Shows, the number one sweatshops for these knock-offs. Shows such as Big Brother, The Farm and Celebrity Grope Peninsula. The result is hundreds of ‘celebrities’ staggering about, and our stalwart Paparazzos are stretched to the limit trying to get pictures of all of them.

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Tiles gleam!

07

Jun
11:45

News

Tiles gleam!

 
So, fake blogs are all the rage, you say? You think I'm going to let another surfire comedy train roll through town without sticking a Splush-shaped carriage on the end? Not on my watch, Jankowski!

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We Are All Ugly

04

Jun
00:21

News

We Are All Ugly

 
Most emails we receive would make even the most sane man gut himself with a spoon, so when a good one plops into our laps like a warm moist turd we jump at the chance to spread it around. Today I received one such email, you could even say that it was lollerskatingly funny.

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Black Death is the New Black

02

Jun
12:07

News

Black Death is the New Black

 
Alors, so it has come to this. The ultimate fashion statement is sweeping Europe, and looks set to dominate the world this summer as all eyes look out for THE thing to be seen in this year. Surprisingly, that thing is a rather retro number from a few centuries ago! Did I say centuries? YES I DID

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