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Rock, Paper Scissors : A handy guide

Rock, Paper Scissors : A handy guide

 
Rock, paper scissors is not a new game by any means. Our ancestors, not long after learning to walk on two feet, were using their newly free hands to do many new and interesting things. One inspired young man/ape, probably a cousin to the man/ape who discovered fire (who then married the woman who characteristically invented the wheel) stumbled across an interesting little game where you would hid your hand behind your back and then after counting to "og" would then reveal your fist to your opponent. The only limitation to the game was that neither paper nor scissors had been invented yet, so the combatants would resolve to see whose rock was harder by means of smashing it into their companion’s skull.

The game caught on, and is now played nationally in tournaments, between close friends or lovers or on dodgy internet sites. But what is rock, paper, scissors? What does it MEAN? And, more importantly, how do you win? This article will examine the standard rules, customs, practices, ideologies and tactics of standard "best of three" RPS.


Rules and Gameplay
Two people face each other. They place their hands behind their backs. They then form this hand into the shape of either a rock (a fist), a piece of paper (an open hand) or a pair of scissors (forefinger and index finger held splayed in a horizontal "V for victory"). A count to three is called by a neutral party*. On the third count both players reveal their hand and the winner is then decided. Paper covers rock, rock blunts scissors, scissors cut paper.

If you are struggling at this point it would be wise to stop playing immediately. For your own sake, and for the sake of those around you, you should probably avoid sharp objects. If you are find and dandy so far, you are ready to step your game up and prepare for the violent, ruthless world of RPS.

*please note that this is a person who does not support either of the competitors and NOT an extremely boring disco.


Advanced Technique and Psychology
Now you’ve (hopefully) mastered the basics, we can proceed to how you can actually win. Over the many years the game has been evolving, there have been many combinations of play, most famously the "Fist fulla dollas" which brought success to MC Rock in his winning of the 1977 Dallas RPS world championships in the heavyweight males category. Not all combinations can be as successful, however, so I will take some time here to discuss the varying advantages and disadvantages of each set of tactics. As these will only cover a standard match, and play-off will have to be played ad lib.


Paper, Paper, scissors – "Point from Obscurity"

This is another of the bluffs which makes your enemy THINK you’re trying to lull them into a false sense of security. This false impression that you cunningly planted in their foolish mind will enable you to counter-phwip their attempts to judge you and as such you can take the victory with ease.

Rock, scissors, rock – "Needle on the rocks"

This example of rebound tactics can really shake your opponent, especially if it’s the opening match a marathon or group based tournament. The unexpected progression along the hierarchy chain will lead your opponent to think you are going to conclude the natural progression with a “full progression” tactic, and will naturally opt for scissors in order to counter your looming paper. However, you will out-manoeuvre your opponent, regressing at the last moment for a clear victory and an abashed, defeated rival.


Rock, rock, rock – "Timefreeze: stone age"

If you are particularly sadistic, you may want to use this one to mess with your opponent’s minds. This is one for playing in the middle or towards the end of a session, or in the knock out stages of a tournament. Your opponent will try to outwit you with intricate twists and turns whilst you stand as an unmoving wall of resistance. Use consecutively for and epic conclusion.


Paper, rock, paper- "Desert Wall" or "The Great Wall of China"

This is a textbook defensive move and makes a great opener. Asian in origin, the move quickly spread into mainstream play and now is used by most experts in their first tournament move. The Desert wall blocks the well known trap "The Pit of death" which will be used by less experienced players in a desperate bid to stack up early points.

Paper, scissors, rock- "The Enigma"

Scientists have studied this tactic for years, trying to work out what it is that makes it what it is. If you get into a conversation with a hardened rock, paper scissor player about the game they will give you detailed "blow for blow" accounts of their latest five-hour tournament or drone on and on about regression tactics, rift jumping, the Rifler standard defence, tagging and false starts but the moment you mention the enigma they freeze up. Some will be lost for words, others will change the subject hastily and there have even been cases of people walking out of the room. Use with caution.


Rock, Scissors, paper- "The Title Piece"

This move is revered by most to be the ultimate finishing move to any competition. Having beaten your opponent to a state of exhaustion with your strength and strategy, this move will assure you victory with style and finesse. The foe at this stage will be too tired to think straight and will offer no resistance to this, the most simplistic and elegant progression series of them all. Celebrate your well earned epic victory with the traditional Rock, Paper, Scissors cake, made with real rocks, scissors and paper!

Please be aware that www.weebls-stuff.com and its affiliates accept no responsibility for any injury; loss or damage of property or death as a result of playing RPS or using any of the above tactics...

 
 
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