You know when you have those moments of complete unreality where you have to wipe your eyes in a comedy manner to check that you’re actually seeing what you’re seeing. That’s how felt when I saw Juice for the first time.  For the unaware, this is ‘The New Punk’d’ featuring O. J Simpson, where unsuspecting members of the public are treated to some of the alleged wife killer’s hilarious comedy characters, ‘pranking them up wild style’. No, one of the pranks is not fitting your hand into a tiny blood soaked glove, but there is an episode where O.J, playing the part of a used car salesman, tries to sell his infamous white Bronco to a shifty looking man, claiming it to have great ‘escapability’. No, seriously. Anyway, I was thinking why should he get all the action, when some of the other crims and baddies out there are getting nothing. Just because you’re acquitted shouldn’t give you the monopoly, so I’ve put together some tantalising Tv tidbits for all the murderous/dodgy cretins out there, including some posthumous ideas that should never have been overlooked

Fred and Rose West’s Storage Solutions
When you’re having trouble trying to squash things into tiny tiny spaces that just don’t seem to fit, and it seems like your house is fit to bursting, Fred and Rose West have the answer. They will show you how to make best use of your walls and garden, to really solve those storage issues. Should you need a little bit of help around the house they can even show you the best places to acquire home help to assist you in your needs. Mainly bus stops


Dishing up with Dahmer
Sometimes meat can just be too chewy, too tough, or way way too human, but Jeffrey shows you how to season and spice, so even that gristly achilles heel will taste like Fillet Mignon. An especially good show for very young men, interested in getting started in cookery.


Helping Yourself the Manson Way
A self help show run by Charles Manson, focusing on group dynamics and trust excercises. This is quite an intense show, and some of the final tests may push you to the end of your social and moral boundaries.


Mark David Chapman Idol
A talent show, where people show Mark their skills, and if he thinks they’re really good or have the potential to change the face of music forever, he shoots them.


Son of Sam: Dog Whisperer
Dave Berkowitz, aka Son of Sam, gets to grips with Rover and Fido’s issues by listening closely to their needs and desires and then translating them for the owner, to build a better human/canine relationship. Don’t be surprised if, rather than needing some Pedigree Chum , your dog actually needs you to go out and senselessly murder attractive young people.


Clowning Around with Gacy
John Wayne Gacy shows you how to make any kids party go with a bang.


Banking on Nick
Finances in trouble? Got nowhere to turn? Then simply let Nick Leeson take risks with your cash that you never thought possible. (Discalimer: Nick may appear to get strangely richer as the show goes on, buying solid gold watches and the Moon etc, but this is simply to echo your growing financial status, and not because he is siphoning all your cash into an offshore account)